It's been said that if you do what you love, you'll never work a day in your life. Well, leave it to a Frenchman to devote a good deal of his career to studying the many wonders of the female anatomy — specifically breasts. Jean-Denis Rouillon, a professor at Besançon University, has spent the past 15 years of his life researching the endlessly fascinating world of bosoms — 330 of them, to be exact — and he has come to a surprising conclusion. According to Rouillon, bras are useless.
Professor Rouillon said: “Medically, physiologically, anatomically — breasts gain no benefit from being denied gravity.” The study found that breasts were firmer and sagged less in the women who did not wear a bra, and such women were no more likely than others to suffer from back pain.
But brassieres have long played an integral role in society. There were sweater girls of the 1950s, followed by the bra-burners of the 1960s counterculture movement. Then came Madonna's Jean Paul Gaultier-designed conical lingerie and Oprah Winfrey's bra intervention. And, even more recently, the uproar that ensued when viewers couldn't tell whether Anne Hathaway's Oscars dress featured odd folds at the chest or if the actress was just really, really cold. Needless to say, we're a society that's obsessed with breasts and how they're covered and uncovered.
So what does this new development mean? Will women be encouraged to eliminate bras from their wardrobes? Will Victoria's Secret stock suddenly plunge in value? Will nip slips no longer be fodder for celebrity gossip blogs? Will men just get tired of seeing freewheeling breasts everywhere they turn? That last one is doubtful, but who knows. A world without bras is like a world with no structure — a lawless land. Why, this could be the most important scientific discovery to come from France since Charles Frédéric Gerhardt created Aspirin in the 1850s. We know not what the future holds, but bras, it seems, may not be a part of it.